43 Witty Tweets For The Survivors Of Bad Blind Dates

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Tammywainer
Nov 18, 2023 4:00 PM EST

Ah, the dating world can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster of emotions! Navigating through those scary blind dates. It's like diving into a surprise adventure, not knowing what to expect. You might feel excited, nervous, or a mix of both, hoping that the person you're meeting will turn out to be nice and interesting. Sometimes, these dates lead to great connections and new friendships, while other times, they can be a bit awkward or not quite what you expected.

There's a silver lining to all this blind dating drama, a collection of tweets that perfectly sum up those relatable, cringe-worthy moments we all go through. These tweets are a treasure trove of humor, reminding us that we're not alone in this rollercoaster ride of dating. From awkward encounters to relatable situations. This is just another reminder that among all the unpredictability that comes with blind dates, there's a community of fellow survivors sharing similar experiences, turning those cringy tales into hilarious one-liners you can bond over.

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  • 01
    TOMAT KETCHU KETCH HEINZ TOMATO HEIN KETCHUP FB KETCH HEIN Anicca @13adh13 mm 129,350 ♥ 154,601 weal Follow I just want someone who looks at me the way my brother looks at ketchup 10:21 PM - 23 Jan 2016 +
    via @13adh13
  • 02
    francistogram @francistogram What my girlfriend thought, first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow. A second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts. RETWEETS 16,814 LIKES 35,838 4:01 PM - 13 Aug 2014
    via francistogram
  • 03
    McKenzie @SilverCricket9 #HowToEscapeADate No matter what he's talking about, bring the conversation back to your cat. "I love to travel." "My cat's an explorer." RETWEETS 326 LIKES 1,077 6:29 AM - 13 Feb 2017 tr
    via @SilverCricket9
  • 04
    Mindy Furano @MindyFurano my ex has had a really hard time moving on. from what i can tell through his blinds, he is currently eating (something we always did) RETWEETS LIKES 2,265 6,348 9:43 PM - 21 May 2013
    via @MindyFurano
  • 05
    AmberTozer @Amber Tozer Dating is collecting information about someone until you realize you don't like them RETWEETS LIKES 4,963 8,395 9:56 AM - 17 Sep 2013
    via @Amber Tozer
  • 06
    Iniko Blue @inikoblue Tinder is the best place to find a husband. Sure it's someone else's husband but there are a lot of husbands on here. RETWEETS LIKES 31 66 8:30 PM - 26 Mar 2017
    via @inikoblue
  • 07
    Stuart Edgemas @stuart_edge I was trying to flirt with my date, so I told her she spilled some ice cream on her chin. Turns out it was a zit. #WorstFirstDate RETWEETS 50 LIKES 371 11:48 AM - 6 Jan 2016
    via @stuart_edge
  • 08
    Amanda Hugnkiss @caliluvgirl77 [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far" RETWEETS LIKES TAT HOSAS 3,318 7,273 3:57 PM - 22 Jan 2016
    via @caliluvgirl77
  • 09
    Sarcasticsapien @Sarcasticsapien Dating me is like binge watching a show. After a while you realize it isn't that great but you invested time so you reluctantly keep going. RETWEETS 268 LIKES 525 8:44 AM - 24 Apr 2016
    via @Sarcasticsapien
  • 10
    Jamie Woodham @jwoodham DATING TIP: Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Use the door as a weapon to fight off other men. Establish dominance. RETWEETS LIKES 7,690 7,579 7:37 PM - 1 Aug 2013
    via @jwoodham
  • 11
    Michael Hendrix @michael_hendrix Pokemon Go is already more popular than Tinder, another app where you swipe to find monsters in your area. RETWEETS LIKES 29,875 38,488 8:14 PM - 12 Jul 2016 CSYV EH LM
    via @michael_hendrix
  • 12
    keet @KeetPotato [undoes GFs bra first time] "wow have you been practicing?" don't be ridiculous [me and dog exchange glances] 9:51 PM - 17 May 2015 4,080 8,336 Follow
    via @KeetPotato
  • 13
    Amanda Hugnkiss @caliluvgirl77 Follow [introducing myself to new boyfriends parents] "Hi, I usually don't make it this far" 11:57 PM - 22 Jan 2016 3,298 7,257
    via @caliluvgirl77
  • 14
    chuuch @ch000ch your dating profile: i LOVE adventures me: sounds like i'd have to do stuff. next--> 1:49 AM - 25 Jan 2016 7 786 ♥ 1,601 Follow
    via @ch000ch
  • 15
    Mindy Furano @MindyFurano Follow Nervous around the person you like? Sue them. They'll be forced to see you in court, well dressed & in control. Let the law be your wingman. 6:47 PM - 18 Jun 2014 5,513 8,632
    via @MindyFurano
  • 16
    tesla adrianne @tesladrianne Follow collecting tinder matches like pokemon cards: "oh you got a guy-holding-fish?? I have three of those!" 5:43 AM - 2 May 2016 18 ♥41
    via @tesladrianne
  • 17
    Today 9:02 PM You're so naturally beautiful #trishy @soulthot my foundation costs $60 Delivered i love meeting boys on tinder 2:04 AM - 22 Feb 2017 1,212 ♥5,164 Follow
    via @soulthot
  • 18
    shelby fero @shelbyfero Relationships are an expensive way to watch someone slowly like you less and less. 3:26 AM - 20 May 2014 955 1,919 Follow
    via @shelbyfero
  • 19
    Hippo @Internet Hippo Follow Someday you'll meet someone amazing who just gets you. And they won't want to date you either 9:19 PM 15 Jul 2015 1,269 2,060
    via @Internet Hippo
  • 20
    Sarcasticsapien @Sarcasticsapien Follow Dating me is like binge watching a show. After a while you realize it isn't that great but you invested time so you reluctantly keep going. 3:44 PM - 24 Apr 2016 268 ♥ 525
    via @Sarcasticsapien
  • 21
    Shea @sheastrauss Dating is like trying to find a piece of hay in a needlestack 5:30 PM - 23 Oct 2016 1766 ♥ 139 Follow
    via @sheastrauss
  • 22
    Blythe Roberson @blythelikehappy Follow [sees a man across the room at a party] "that's the man i'm going to convince myself i like and is good enough to marry" 3:20 PM - 24 Jan 2017 75 ♥ 30
    via @blythelikehappy
  • 23
    Common White Girl @CommonWhiteGrl dating tip: don't 1:21 AM - 18 Jun 2013 1,497 902 Follow
    via @CommonWhiteGrl
  • 24
    thomas violence @thomas_violence the stages of a breakup: 1. denial Follow 2. anger 3. bargaining 4. taking pictures of everything you do to make sure people know you're having fun 9:56 PM - 5 Oct 2015 47 346 ♥861
    via @thomas_violence
  • 25
    Kevin Farzad @KevinFarzad Follow Let's not say we met on Tinder, that's embarrassing. We'll say we met the old-fashioned way when ur dad gave my dad several goats & a fence 8:55 PM - 19 Jan 2016 17 665 ♥ 1,785
    via @KevinFarzad
  • 26
    Candee @ilyCandee Follow When u over his crib and he put on Netflix and ask why u sitting so far away from him 2:43 AM - 21 Jan 2016 + 3,570 3,598
    via @ilyCandee
  • 27
    Eliza Bayne @ElizaBayne Follow Hook-up culture's not for me. I'd rather get to know someone, find out they're not right for me, then keep dating them for 2-3 years 2:09 AM - 11 Mar 2016 107 ♥331
    via @ElizaBayne
  • 28
    Joseph Scrimshaw @JosephScrimshaw Follow The 21st Century version of a romantic sunset: Crowd around your mobile device with your lover and watch the battery drain. 12:23 AM - 15 Feb 2017 27 26
    via @JosephScrimshaw
  • 29
    Marta Effing Ketchup @MartaEffing Follow Online dating apps are fun. Like, lighting my hair on fire and putting it out with gasoline, kinda fun. 2:56 AM - 3 May 2016 140 ♥ 215
    via @MartaEffin
  • 30
    Iniko Blue @inikoblue Follow Tinder is the best place to find a husband. Sure it's someone else's husband but there are a lot of husbands on here. 3:30 AM - 27 Mar 2017 17 23 ♥ 45
    via @inikoblue
  • 31
    Kat Combs @itskatcombs Here's my impression of online dating: *conversation* *conversation* *conversation* "Hey wanna get a drink?" *silence forever* 12:50 AM - 8 Oct 2015 27 11 ♥ 21 Follow
    via @itskatcombs
  • 32
    Aggressively Passive @theaaronone "I just want a guy that makes me laugh" *makes her laugh* "Not you." 8:22 PM - 9 Jan 2016 Houston, TX 17926 ♥ 1,239 Follow
    via @theaaronone
  • 33
    lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren Follow i ask my dates the important questions upfront like "are you cool with a harry potter themed wedding" 3:59 AM - 5 Nov 2013 435 ♥ 607
    via @sbellelauren
  • 34
    David Hughes @david8hughes Follow There's no reason I should pay the bill at dinner when she's not paid a single complement to my RoboCop jean jacket. 3:37 PM - 21 Nov 2014 17 75 ♥184
    via @david8hughes
  • 35
    P @lovehandle_ Follow My biggest worry when I'm flirting with a boy is that he's going to die & our text messages are going to be on the news. 6:13 PM 12 Nov 2012 +£3 277 ♥287
    via @lovehandle_
  • 36
    Imaan Sheikh @sheikhimaan Follow Me: *trying to forget the past & move on* Facebook: You have memories with your first love and your deceitful friends to look back on today. 12:07 PM - 23 Jul 2015 7 151 181
    via @sheikhimaan
  • 37
    Eliza Bayne @ElizaBayne Follow So weird that National Vodka Day happens on the same day as Text Your Ex Day 11:42 PM - 4 Oct 2016 21 ♥ 91
    via @ElizaBayne
  • 38
    molly @MollySneed Follow I know all about speed dating. That's when a guy distances himself as quickly as possible from you after the first date, right? 2:17 AM - 11 Dec 2014 17 4 20
    via @MollySneed
  • 39
    Morgan Murphy @morgan_murphy Follow the dude who broke into my car & stole my purse tried to use my credit card on a dating website. we're all just looking for love, man. 12:33 AM - 25 Aug 2012 +7 49 ♥ 93
    via @morgan_murphy
  • 40
    Normal people flirting: hey you're cute we should go out sometime Me trying to flirt: so do you like bread Practical Intuition Ⓡ @Practicalintuit Follow #DatingIsHard Because you gotta know how to flirt... 6:33 PM - 22 Nov 2016 271 6
    via @Practicalintuit
  • 41
    Trevor S @trevso_electric Follow Remember, every six cats equals one boyfriend. 4:53 AM - 15 Nov 2012 1,011 934
    via @trevso_electric
  • 42
    underchilde @underchilde Follow According to my therapist, I should try dating a woman he isn't married to. 9:25 PM - 24 Mar 2017 £127 255
    via @underchilde
  • 43
    Donnie @Donnie_Fairburn Follow [Frantically plunging the toilet at a girl's house] "You ok in there?" Fine "Are you sure? What's that noise?" *climbing out the window* IDK 11:40 PM - 23 Dec 2014 1,249 2,710
    via @Donnie_Fairburn

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